“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
Each one of us hears it. Repetitive advice. How to live, how to raise your children, how to behave in society. What a human, what a different opinion, suggestion or recommendation. You don’t want anything like that, but those “helpful” words are almost like a boomerang. Our ears suffer, we listen “in and out”, and above all, completely different things are in us. We think the opposite. We dare to disagree, but then we realize that we are younger, less wiser with less experiences and even though our inner self is shouting out loud that it won’t work in our case, the logic prevails and we listen. At first sight, we glow. Not only because of the smiles of others, but mainly because of the good feeling that we heeded. But…
I don’t know about you, but I often hit the wall hard. The smile on my lips disappeared at lightning speed, and instead appeared bruises. Blue and swollen, which healed a long time. I’m not even sure if those scars disappear in the future. But what helped me get out of this painful situation? Going the other way. The one which occurred to me before. The one which told me my inner self. The path initially looked like a dangerous and perhaps a little unwise choice, but I tried it. Unfamiliar surroundings, new experiences, different results. Enthusiasm and motivation started to charge me and I felt more alive than ever. “Why I didn’t do it before?” I asked myself silly. That freedom and fun instead of ingrained patterns. Exactly what I wanted all the time and suddenly I had it firmly in my hands. I reached the red icing on the cake and its sweetness literally melted on my tongue. I was happy. Unfortunately, nothing is without response. Every action causes a specific reaction.
Unnecessary and inappropriate advice for my personality began to escalate. Opinion that it can’t go on like this. “The help” rushed at me from all sides, but I wasn’t willing to listen. Then the frequency and the pressure started to grow. I received a strange manual (not one) on my own life. What a paradox… Does anyone wear my shoes? How someone can show me “the way” when anyone doesn’t know where I want to go? Being a puppet in someone’s hands and hopping on a whistle into a rhythm? The very idea is discouraging me. I’d rather be a director than an actor.
If you refuse those “best advice”, the others will never accept it well. They take it as disobedience and sometimes even as an insult changing into envy and hatred. Although, it has nothing to do with them. However, it is their decision, and if someone have experienced disappointment, anger or stress because of me, I can’t do anything with it. I can’t live according to someone’s truths, when deep inside I feel that my life is different. Why the individuality is taken as evil?
Today’s world and society function on strange principles. Even I don’t fully understand them, but the important thing is that this way suits me, I love it and I will not give it up so quickly. Maybe I lost the respect of others, but above all, I didn’t lose myself. I’m happy and that’s important, right?
Your way is also different from mine, and that’s awesome, because everyone can achieve different goals and dreams. If you aren’t there yet, try to listen and understand. If you are afraid of losing something or someone, I’ll tell you how it happened with me. You will discover a new and better world about which you have always dreamed of.