Have you ever thought about what will happen? “What awaits me?” Those were my feelings one day after lunch, when I laid my body into the bed. It wasn’t a bad idea, at least the stomach had time to do its work. But then I had doubts. With a little bit of space, the human mind can wander. It seemed like the unknown and mysterious forest in the dark. You don’t have a lantern, candle or any kind of light, and you say to yourself that you are lost. Uncertainty and fear. You are afraid to do next step, because you will fall into a deep hole. Then you found yourself in a dirty and disgusting pit from which there is no escape. The iced feelings of loneliness and abandonment find you and ultimately any rescue plan fails instantly. Therefore, you aren’t able to move. The best solution is survive. The sun comes up and lights up your path. But what if it doesn’t work like that? What if you are able to create the necessary fire?
However, fatigue wasn’t big enough, I couldn’t fall asleep, so my brain continued working. Time didn’t exist, only thoughts and I. Topics were changing as the weather of April and the more I was tangled in the net, the worse it got. “Am I a victim of my self-created misery?” Still no answer. And then, as if struck by lightning, the solution appeared itself. “Does it matter?”
“What the hell…? The result of the heavy process, which cost me such effort is just another question?” However, after the initial disgust, the thing was gaining momentum. Slowly was getting into my head, to the very basics. It was starting to make more sense. Suddenly, the local police showed proofs that the alleged villain was actually a savior and hero in one person. “How?” Again the communication with myself. Possible sign of foolishness, but then I realized everything.
The word “future”, indicating the time before us, is not in our hands. Whether it’s amazing or unpleasant discovery. However, all plans about our life are a mere mockery up there. You can imagine anything. Money, a relationship or a job, it’s always someone else than us, who decides about all this. Your and my experiences are among the incriminating evidence. Surprise, uncertainty, the future is full of these concepts. “Okay. I’ll do it,” I said to myself on the bed, looking up at the ceiling as if something supernatural resided there. Silly, right? At that moment, I didn’t see it that way. “I leave it to you.” The last statement before I decided that relaxation was too much.
Prophetess, crystal ball, fortune-teller and similar things exist only in fairy tales, which I adore, especially on Christmas 🙂 But life is much, much more interesting, exciting and funnier. We have the possibility to enjoy our being with all the senses. Such opportunity will never be repeated.
“Life is going on by itself and without our will.”
I believe I’ll see you next time and I want to wish you a wonderful day with a smile on your face 🙂